"It's like standing over the event horizon of all your fears, millimeters away from forever imprisoned, and in that moment any instant of doubt forms a dot in your stomach and the normal force of any courage you've ever had is overcome by that event. And that dot collapses through you, tethered only to your heart, and rips everything out of you in an instant. Ripped apart in the event a shell remains as it all falls apart.
Does it sting?
Do you feel nothing at all? Do I?
As my courage leaves me in strings, flying towards by new home in my own crushing lack of confidence. I try to scream, but my fear has paralyzed me even to a point of accepting my fate. The tears that form in eyes of a man long since dead, escape in a spectacular explosion as soul evacuated body.
I feel nothing at all.
Does it sting?
Mr Durden asked us who would we fight.
I'd fight myself, I'd fight my emotions that drove me to the edge of the darkness I'm being sucked into. Because, I allowed myself to feel something for you and it's literally tearing me apart in the emotional vacuum of all of my regrets. Why destroy myself again, because I'm the only one that can redeem any sort of saving light or victory from then that dot of self doubt ripped my heart and guts out into oblivion. I hope you suffer, and I mean it.
In that moment, I found a voice, while gazing into a star. A thundering voice, my scream shatters the atmosphere of some unknown, planet in the distance. In that moment this event was over the horizon, I reached for that bright lit star, fighting myself that had loosened his grip.
The big bang, in that moment I created my new universe, I became untouchable.
I touched the light in a way that pushed all my darkness over some distant horizon.
That light, wasn't you.
Does it sting?"
Eddy glanced over to Abigail and Chelsea as they sat in the neighborhood coffee shop. "So..." he finally says, searching for a response. "Eddy," Chelsea whispers, "thats fuckin' raw, man, like, I don't ,like Really get that sience-y stuff but, raw." Chelsea grabs her coffee cup and brings it to her lips, her curly, brunette hair in a bun, revealing hazel eyes.
She slowly sips her coffee in a renewed silence.
"How long do you have until you think you'll be ready to perform this one?" Abigail asks excitedly. "like, I know it needs to be longer but I know you can do it, you always bring such cool things out of that fucked little head of yours!" She fidgets in her seat behind trendy, "hipster-esque" glasses. Vibrant Brown eyes excitedly wanting answers from her favorite cousin as her straight, brunnete hair draped her upper body below her shoulders.
Eddy lights a cigarette, inhaling deeply as he simply smirks for a second.
"I dunno Cuzzo, just depends when I get the inspiration, you know how it goes with my writing sparks..." His voice trails off into some far off land as smoke rises wistfully into the air.
A renewed silence.
"I't will be good one day," he sighs, "but it's not good enough to perform yet, except for you two of course, because y'all will tell me if it's shit."
"You're mind is a dangerous place, Ed," Chelsea re-enters the conversation, " I'ts a dangerously epic fucking place."
"Dangerous." he whispers to no one in particular.
~The Trickster Maui