Rumor and Hearsay

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Standing in the rain, weathering the storm.

We all encounter times in our lives where we feel that the world, or at least aspects of the world are certainly against us. Why not just give up? Why put ourselves through situations which could leave us in a worse position? Is it the buzz? The Challenge? Some kind of demon driving us through hard times? A mysterious calling or force telling us to fight on? Probably, depending on the situation. What about in terms of times where you choose a path, consciously or not, maybe you've already chosen and not even noticed...what then? what drives us to endure the rain, sleet, hail, wind and waves? I think it's this....some sort of goal either acknowledged or unconscious.

Why endure two-a-day football practices when one feels their body is broken, tired, and the easiest thing to do is to quit? To play under the lights, to hone your skills and utilize them at a level where your opponent is quite as good and quite as dedicated and driven. Maybe it's not for the lights, maybe its for the glory, that game-saving tackle, that clutch conversion, that one moment. Unconsciously it could be to prove something to yourself, to see what you're really made of.

College, you go through all the works, effort, success and failure for a piece of paper, some sort of inner pride, something to prove people wrong about you etc. At work, we go through the bs for the money, the promotions, the bonds with good co-workers, we do it for the ability to enjoy ourselves later, we do it to be productive.

But, What about in overall life...what makes us tick? Still I believe it's goals.Lord knows I've put people through some hellish times, and I've dealt with theirs also. Some may see this example as being a "they just try to deal with it and let it blow over" but I see it as a "I'm proving to you/ it's my goal to show you that you're not alone in this" again, this can e a conscious or unconscious stand.

Personally, I feel that when someone makes a stand they fully expose themselves to the impending storm of opinion, emotion, and other applicable conditions. Sometimes our stands will be difficult, sometimes they are as inconsequential as a choice of when to get off the couch, some could seem life changing but end up nothing, others can seem like nothing and change your life forever. In most situations we may not be able to see which is which, but it's a reality we have to live with. But if you have a goal, if you have a point to prove, stay strong through the hurricane gusts, the hail, the rain and the cold. Keep your footing and sight of the goal and have faith that you will not falter and you put yourself in the best position to not fail, however remember you are looking at it all from your perspective,  your reality, which may be skewed. Just because you have a goal, doesn't mean you can reach's a tad unfortunate. Especially when taking a stand costs you a friendship, when the stand seemingly starts to poke and prod in your personal life outside of the situation, when it's dark outside and it's hard to see the goal. faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see, this is what the ancients were commended for. Hebrews 11:1-2

Goals in my eyes are the reason, drive and source of ability to weather storms that are thrown at you, or that you create for yourself.

I have my goals laid out in front of me...I have storms to weather, bridges to attempt to repair...goals will keep me focused. As for my past, I know Ive traveled through mist, fog, smoke and flames unable to sometimes see what's in front of me, but recently, the smoke has started to clear, the flames receded, the mist burnt off...and everyday the picture of who I should be, who I want to be becomes more clear, and so too do the point where I'll end up making a stand. to all those going through the places where you can't see ahead, Godspeed. Shit if I can do it...especially how I used to be, I have faith you can too. But beware, just because you make a goal doesn't mean it's righteous, or even right...In those instances the storm will likely be the most destructive.

Question is, do you have your goals?? Even more can you formulate yours once the storm clouds start to gather?
And remember, one has to know where they are standing in order to make a stand through it all.

Quote of the day:
Success is a measurable realization of a predetermined worthwhile goal or objective. Goals we set are goals we get.

Song of the day: Cake: The Distance (For the Lyrics at least)

Advice for the day: Try finding a book to read that you normally wouldn't.

Until we meet again,

~The Trickster, Maui

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Spring Break Part 2

Boom, the festivities are over, the drive has been made, and it's back to the grind.

Good to be back in Lubbock actually, though I'm not terribly excited for Muay Thai in the morning but that's besides the point. i figured I'd give y'all something to read to pass the time.

I hope everyone had a good break...will have a good break...or is currently enjoying a break...which will end up good. El Paso was a good time on the back end, however angsty my previous post was, doesn't reflect the rest of our mini vacation to the sun city. Hanging with some good friends at the house, grilling and additionally hazing the culinary world of the neighborhood. What college cookout druing break would be complete without some good ole BP, tournament of champions, actives versus pledges, bigs and littles as teams, and random match ups. Needless to say, things got pretty fratty: frat shades, polo shorts, sperrys, flip flops, croakies...we were frat to the nines.

Then the game started.... I evidently was doing something, "evidently" because I'm not sure if I was doing anything but whatever. So theoretically let's say I was doing something, and in the context of the situation, let's assume this is good. However, one of my prized possessions has mysteriously gone missing...the mission is to find it, and If I do, I get to know what I was doing. Still with me? Goof. We'll come back to this later, but at this point it's time to party with my brother.

Boom, after a short walk we enter a nice get together at my bro's house and proceed to continue to party as several more friends show up. As the night progresses, as many other nights, we just can't have a perfect night. go this point I'm very positive that I'm doing very well and the night is going perfect.
It's at this point I have to get my friend to come back, not let the bs get to them and to keep having a good time. Evidently some ppl just like starting stuff so of course I'm gonna defend my friend in my brother's house while this is going down. To anyone that reads this... DON'T BE GHETTO IT JUST MAKES YOU LOOK TRASHY UNEDUCATED AND OVERALL PLACES YOU IN DUMB-B STATUS. seriously....

You know it's going downhill when a chick is yelling at your friend saying "I'm from east L.A. b*@&$! does the fact you're from there give you a free pass to be ghetto without getting shit for it? HELL I'M FROM SOUTH L.A. ...doesn't mean I'm ghetto. Slow your roll.

Other than that, pretty good tail-end of the break, some more fratting at the Fratcastle with my people. Unfortunately I ran out of time to find my object, but I'm pleading to get the info anyway. Wish me luck ya? :)

Happy Monday morning everyone I hope you have a good one.

Quote of the break:
"What you know about dying?! "

News for the day: Adriana is back with me....with new subs ;-) be jealous.

Video of the post:

Until we meet again, Godspeed.

~The Trickster, Maui

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

The "Joys" of being home.

I hope so far everyone has had/ will be having a good spring break. Roughly halfway through the spring semester...thrilling isn't it?
With the supreme beats of Sir David Guetta, Skrillex and various artist filling my cranium I bring you the Mid-Spring break edition of the Journal of the Torch Carrier.

With the last three months and my experience with my mothers car, dropping $600+ into it, and finally just fixing it on my own...I have been reunited with the love of my life, Adriana. However, still there is work to be done, granted I thought it would be upgrade work, but the repairs weren't completed correctly so she has to get reevaluated a few times. So, still waiting on the final word and what not so I can order my strut tower braces, new lights, possibly headers and a cat-back exhaust. new shoes are still in the running also, esp since they come with race tires ;-)

Hm, Deadmau5 just came on.

As for the joys of being home, they are boundless. Rolling into El Paso Friday night, walking in the house and as soon as I get to say hi, it starts downhill. You're looking a little chubby son, sit down you're making us nervous, are you going to grad school after all? Have you filled your prescriptions yet? We need to go to the bank, did you cash out your old stocks? what kind of investments do you want now?....fuck me running sideways it's good to see you too mom and dad....

my answers? I'd be working out a lot more if my knee was good to go, i don't like sitting down cuz I don't plan on staying dad, I don't know yet you know I hate school esp right now I don't wanna think about it mom, No I didn't I'm not going to take those fucking pills I'm fine, Yes I know, yes i did the check is right here, I dunno...I'm going out bye.
...First 20 mins home.

As many of you who actually know me, I'm a creature of the night, so first night in town is most definitely going to be epic. Rumple? Check... Whiskey? Check...BOOSH
Pulling up to the homestead of my dear Mr Mayor I calmly step out of my lovely Adriana once parking her near her cousin. Heading up the stairs greeted by to lovely ladies who sense it's going to be a good night once they see the bottles. Walk in, Game over. round after round after round of the Rumpliest Rumple I've had in a while, then to the modded whiskey drinks...strong drinks mind you. and the KATTING began. For those not familiar with KAT, You need to "like" Total Kat Move on F-book and get down with the hardest partying frat you'll ever know. Of course things got wayyyy out of hand, Minibear/Bones was KO'd by my mixing, Mr Sexy kept it classy somehow and the Mayor and our friend almost went after everyone with the blades for dropping the Slam piece tag hahaha. The future of KAT was also discussed, we have big plans ;-)
And it's not by Greek Letters, Its just said KAT like

Stumbling in at 5 A.M. is always fun, especially when mom knows you're stumbling in because of the freshly made rum and pepsi in one hand, which she can smell from down the hall, and a box from taco cabana in the other. As usual, she just looks at me and goes back to her room. 9 A.M sharp, dad hovering over me...time to go. I've learned to accept that when I come in at all hours of the night I pretty much provide an open ticket to my pops to work my ass off the next day. which is what happened. Bank, back home, post office, back home, driving them to the west side to pick up a paper...yeah and all the time holding conversation with me, effectively magnifying the cranial chaos that the sun and dehydration have brought. Finally when I"m released I get some sleep, too sick to eat but knowing I need to re-swagger for the evening with promise of a great meal when the rents get back. MY PARENTS DITCHED ME FOR DINNER WTF hahaha. So I did what any good college student would do, broke out the pots and a pan and Hazed the freezer for all it's yummy goodness, the result? Bomb ass shrimp n steak dinner for one. Gotta get my protein it's Beer Pong Saturday after all ;-) BP goes down smooth and fun as hell, so around 3am I'm driving home when I get a phone call, long story short: two black eyes, bruised eyebrow, and a swollen nose, painful to the touch. God I love my boys haha but don't practice mma full speed whilst not completely sober, or have been warned.

Sunday, got conned into hanging out with my Bio-mom, then went to Sincinasty...aka the depot of El Paso with my boys, made a new friend and accepted a challenge. Monday, Car goes back to the shop, I get my teeth cleaned pretty mellow day night is completely opposite but we won't get into that.

Which brings us to today, which seems like I've been having a rip-roaring time right?
 But It's all coming from the fact that I can't stand being in my house. As much as I love the rents they are just wayyy too damn good at pushing my buttons and what-not so yeah, it's a lot of stress in the Wallace house so I tend to try to stay moving.
The dreams are more vivid than ever, It's becoming harder and harder to tell the difference between them and reality. The hours now spent trying to dodge the dreams are now spent figuring out why I'm in college, why I''ma  business student, why do I care what happens in certain sectors of this crazy life I seem to create around myself. And it's been quite nice to prod my own mind, thus I'll start writing again, maybe not everything will make it here but there will be a book out there, full of these inner thoughts and dialogue.

By now you clearly know the music has changed, that was the serious part of the post.
But, Lets talk about pet peeves, I'm just gonna list situations and list the things that get me going (from eh doesn't REALLY bother me, to I'll snap) haha some could end up funny I Guess.

in the house: My rents, the lack of wireless cable, tv's constantly on with no one watching or three tv's on the same channel and two are being used in separate rooms, mom turning on the tv while i'm napping then leaving the room, mom trying to talk to me while I clearly have my headphones on watching a movie, Trying to start a convo with me while I'm trying to sleep, Telling me things I clearly already am aware of or rectified, and telling me things that have no importance to me at all then getting upset that I don't know what you are talking about.

In the Car: Crappy music, Ipod Being dead, Pandora not working on the phone, shitty drivers, Lubbock Streets, assholes, ppl who drive like assholes, that smug look an asshole gives you while you look at their car, touching the radio, Lubbock drivers, touching the radio, Juarez drivers, ppl going wayyy too slow.

At the party: not knowing people, ppl getting annoyed that you know EVERYONE...literally, long beer pong waits, the guy that talks shit about his flip cup skills that gets all pissed when his team looses, that one team that runs the beer pong table all night, drinks most of the beer, then leaves, the girls who come into your party/the party you are bar tending and acting like they own the place, guys doing the same thing, asking for whack ass drinks, not finishing drinks,  one of your ex's other ex/new person giving you a dirty look, multiple ppl giving you dirty looks for talking to an ex, the new person in their life continuing to give you dirty looks, said person eventually attacking you for no real reason besides they are drunk or jealous, puking inside the house/party yard, PI's, no liquor.

At the Bar:  see above. Add lame bartenders, worthless waitresses, the hicks that play the shitty jukebox music, the drunk guys that start fights because you passed within 15 ft of a girl they are trying to hookup with, horrible service, having to cover someone's tab, getting towed.

In life in general: being tired, being bored, not having anyone to chill with, being so bored I actually do homework, having to fix stuff that shouldn't be your problem, my room being messy haha, stingy ppl, rude ppl, friends vanishing right when you need em, nagging, speed traps, credit card limits and bar tabs, TABC, people who are ur friends when they need something, people who don't walk with purpose, People telling you what you need to do in life, people telling you who you should be with, constantly being told you should be single or in a relationship with this or that person, lack of working car, people who are not genuine and you can clearly see it. and finally, for how much I give them hell, If anyone talks bad about one of my family members, even Portia, or any of my close friends...we have a problem

Wow, that was longer than expected but that's it for the mid-spring break update

Song of the day: Lmfao-party rock anthem ft l bennet and goonrock.

Quote of the day: Don't sweat the small stuff...and It's ALL small stuff. ~Richard Carlson

Idea of the day: Surprise yourself, be spontaneous.

Until next time, keep the sun out ya eyes ya?

~The Trickster, Maui