Rumor and Hearsay

Monday, January 9, 2012

A night goes by in minutes, a night.

A pen glides across the page, leaving its blood behind
"You'd be proud of me" it reads, he was never enough.
As the scratching continued a story appeared, a description, a tale.
"decisions have been made, battle switches activated,
you'd be proud of me, and loathe me if you really knew..."
The faint glow of a struck match, faint wisp of a smoke-tail.
Dissipates around him as he takes a sip,

He continues

I write today to dismay you, the book will end as it sits,
collecting dust, a ledger of a battle fought in the past.
Our story was a beautiful tragedy, victim of a broken mast.
I write in a book now, my book of secrets, things I'm too coy to say
my mind tangles with words as I dream, things I could never say.
If I were so bold I'd show you, but giving too much would leave me vulnerable
Its where I lay my wants, dreams and visions, musings and thoughts that I'm too shy to scream

Inhale. Exhale.
Inhale. Exhale.
Slow sip

One book finished, incomplete.
One book born, unknown fate.
If you only knew, you'd be so proud of me
when I burn this book, I'll finally be free.
Who knows when that will come, will I be able to destroy
These perfect lines of life I'll create?

He trades the pen for his cigarette as he stares out of his window into the night.
Light smoke tails wisp around him as he closes the notebook and pulls out another.

Inhale. Exhale
Inhale. Exhale.

He trades his cigarette for the pen...

Let me buy you a drink, let's compare scars.
Let's trade those stories, we both have them
Lets find out who's closer to the stars.
We don't have much time now dear,
what do we have to fear?

He leans back in his chair, trading his pen once again

Slow sip.
Large Gulp.
Inhale. Exhale.

"What do we have to fear" he says.
"The fear of being found..." He writes

Inhale. Exhale.

HEY HO POST-O Review of winter break.

Hey everybody, another holiday session has passed and I might as well say SOMETHING about it. It's only tradition...nbd right?

I can honestly say that this break has been one of the most interesting, yes even compared to last year's totaling of my dearest blue car. Originally destined for a trip to my home-away-from-home I found myself once again running amok in good Ol' El Paso, which depending on circumstance can be seen as good or bad, depending on who you ask.

What made this trip different, was the fact that I had a lot of time to just sit and think...and I mean THINK. Shooting excursions into the depths of the desert, watching the run fall beneath the horizon as that sweet taste of Bourbon and coke hangs on one's lip while getting the last few long range shots in for the day. Going back to the same location in the cold, stillness, darkness of the night and being able to see for miles around, the city just a slight glow to one's back.

Feeling a strange calm as I'd speed down the highway, weaving through traffic, drunk on the music blasting through the speakers surrounding me. Everything slows, feel the heartbeat, not needing to blink, smirk on the face.

I finally was able to meet my baby nephew, the fact that he likes Frank Sinatra and big band music has me hopeful he will grow up to be quite a classy young man. Ran into some old friends, acquaintances, ghosts of my past, and people I'd like to actually stay in contact with.

Pardon me if I stare but your eyes are exquisite, your smile a nail in the coffin. Start a fire, pass the 'shine. Excuse me if I'm being too upfront, but would you like to dance? Racing through the city lights call me out, I''m being a gentleman, I'm sorry.

A smile with a fat lip, a high five. let's hit the streets, let's burn it down gents we're running out of time.

The more I think the more I drift, without a mooring, keep your mind right Wallace let it go. Family times around the table, around a tree. I'll be the workhorse, light the stove let's get it done.
Wake up, smile, It's been a good run brothers.

It was a pleasure to meet you sir, now I must leave, I've got to get to work sometime right?

Shit...I still need to be packing...this glass of scotch isn't going to finish itself though...If I had the gall, would you care to join?

Thursday, January 5, 2012

the past, my running away

Once upon a time this song was my healing potion, my escape, something that I needed.

May not post for a while but I bring you the song I'd lose myself to

AFI: Fainting Spells

"Fainting Spells"

Give me this before
I slip,
before I sink,
because I think
I may have found
the short way down
Just give me something
Something cold and clear
the love spent here,
as I had feared,
means nothing dear.
I pray to reason I'll forget
Ill trade whats left...

I'm the devout,
praying just to
get the blood out,
bound by this flesh I own
I'm the devout,
cutting just to
get the blood out
Desecrate til we die alone...

I will defy
the pulse disguise
but please pretend
were still alive
if it gives you hope
I sung and drowned,
I'm taking the short way down...

Just give me something
I'm the devout,
praying just to
get the blood out,
bound by this flesh I own
I'm the devout,
cutting just to
get the blood out.
Desecrate 'til we die alone

(now the part that got me)

Give me something I can take
to make the memories fade,
Poison kiss, remember this,
I was never meant for this day

Just give me something
I'm the devout,
praying just to
get the blood out,
bound by this flesh I own
I'm the devout,
cutting just to
get the blood out.
Desecrate til we die alone

Just give me something
I'm the devout,
praying just to
get the blood out,
bound by this flesh I own
I'm the devout,
cutting just to
get the blood out.
Desecrate 'til we die alone
we die alone
we die alone

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

An instance in clarity.

I've gotten used to the loneliness,
gotten used to the cold in a lonely bed.
I got used to a spinning room as I'd awaken.
Memories of nights erased, days gone by
the hours drank away in the embrace of charred oak barrels.
Those days are such a blur now.
Those nights lost forever.
Now as I awaken, the bourbon stays on the table.
I'm waking up sober now.
sober now I'll watch the sunrise and can finally...
finally drink my coffee with steady hands...
steady hands which write again.
Clear eyes that can see again.
I've gotten used to the sunsets, the stars
the stars that watch me now, a tapestry of serenity
serenity I've been craving...I've gotten used to...
I've gotten used to not hurting...
Not hurting.