An excerpt from a story I started writing years ago that never got finished. Might work on it over the break.
The day was crystal clear; the air crisp with the smell of glistening salt water, now this is what it was all about. Jake Akoni was a Native Hawaiian Born to a White father and native mother in Kaui. Slender yet fit, he stood right at 6 feet tall, tanned skin and straight black hair. He and James had become fast friends while James waited tables over the summer at a nearby restaurant, yes, work was James’s form of vacation. After he got off he would meet Jake at a nearby beach hoping for conditions to be right, which they usually were either for surfing or body surfing. This was the entire summer, occasional visits to the rainforest sides of the island, nightly bar-b-que’s and tons of feel good attitudes coupled with heavy drinking and hard beach parties; this is where they got the nickname the “Havok Brothers” . They had become quite close; Jake was the one that showed James he was in love with Ashlee, despite their splitting up freshman year. Jakes was the one who showed James how to live…”Hes fucking dead dude!” shattered everything James felt on that hot Friday afternoon back in his car at school. “What the fuck are you talking about man? Who’s dead?” was James ‘confused reply. “Goddamnit James they fucking killed Jake man! They fucking stabbed him!”…The painfull crying overtook Junior’s voice as he tried to slow down to speak, but the words wouldn’t come out. “You have to be kidding this is some sick joke man ha-ha he’s not dead quit playing man”, was all James could say and even that was with a sick desperation that couldn’t hide the fact that James knew it was true, but hoped he was wrong. Junior was still sobbing on the other end of the phone,”I gotta go man..I…. fuck” then silence. And there he sat, inside his steaming hot car, shocked, but numb. He always knew Jake was pretty deep in some drugs but he was doing well these past few months, he found God, he found a girl and a good job; he had finally been on the right track and now it was all gone. James never cried so hard in his life, the tears seamed cold as ice against his searing skin, he had lost the friend who showed him how to live, taught him to love again, shit this was the guy who taught him how to surf, body surf and long board while he was on the island. The thirty minutes seemed to be an eternity as the tears flooded his sweaty shirt and he beat his steering wheel with everything he could muster between the sobs and gasps for air. Then, he gave up, James surrendered to the fact that Jake wasn’t going to magically return, Jake was gone, now he had the obligation to carry his memory with him. “The Havok Brothers” had been reduced to one, and James had no intention of letting the name die, granted it was his last name, but it meant much more now, it was a symbol of what he had left. His eyes were dry now, breathing controlled and it was hot as hell and James forced himself to start the car, park it in the back lot and get out into the world. It was fully understood that this may be the longest night of his life, and now, James looked to the sky and went into the locker room…</div>
Monday, April 11, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Standing in the rain, weathering the storm.
We all encounter times in our lives where we feel that the world, or at least aspects of the world are certainly against us. Why not just give up? Why put ourselves through situations which could leave us in a worse position? Is it the buzz? The Challenge? Some kind of demon driving us through hard times? A mysterious calling or force telling us to fight on? Probably, depending on the situation. What about in terms of times where you choose a path, consciously or not, maybe you've already chosen and not even noticed...what then? what drives us to endure the rain, sleet, hail, wind and waves? I think it's this....some sort of goal either acknowledged or unconscious.
Why endure two-a-day football practices when one feels their body is broken, tired, and the easiest thing to do is to quit? To play under the lights, to hone your skills and utilize them at a level where your opponent is quite as good and quite as dedicated and driven. Maybe it's not for the lights, maybe its for the glory, that game-saving tackle, that clutch conversion, that one moment. Unconsciously it could be to prove something to yourself, to see what you're really made of.
College, you go through all the works, effort, success and failure for a piece of paper, some sort of inner pride, something to prove people wrong about you etc. At work, we go through the bs for the money, the promotions, the bonds with good co-workers, we do it for the ability to enjoy ourselves later, we do it to be productive.
But, What about in overall life...what makes us tick? Still I believe it's goals.Lord knows I've put people through some hellish times, and I've dealt with theirs also. Some may see this example as being a "they just try to deal with it and let it blow over" but I see it as a "I'm proving to you/ it's my goal to show you that you're not alone in this" again, this can e a conscious or unconscious stand.
Personally, I feel that when someone makes a stand they fully expose themselves to the impending storm of opinion, emotion, and other applicable conditions. Sometimes our stands will be difficult, sometimes they are as inconsequential as a choice of when to get off the couch, some could seem life changing but end up nothing, others can seem like nothing and change your life forever. In most situations we may not be able to see which is which, but it's a reality we have to live with. But if you have a goal, if you have a point to prove, stay strong through the hurricane gusts, the hail, the rain and the cold. Keep your footing and sight of the goal and have faith that you will not falter and you put yourself in the best position to not fail, however remember you are looking at it all from your perspective, your reality, which may be skewed. Just because you have a goal, doesn't mean you can reach them...it's a tad unfortunate. Especially when taking a stand costs you a friendship, when the stand seemingly starts to poke and prod in your personal life outside of the situation, when it's dark outside and it's hard to see the goal. faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see, this is what the ancients were commended for. Hebrews 11:1-2
Goals in my eyes are the reason, drive and source of ability to weather storms that are thrown at you, or that you create for yourself.
I have my goals laid out in front of me...I have storms to weather, bridges to attempt to repair...goals will keep me focused. As for my past, I know Ive traveled through mist, fog, smoke and flames unable to sometimes see what's in front of me, but recently, the smoke has started to clear, the flames receded, the mist burnt off...and everyday the picture of who I should be, who I want to be becomes more clear, and so too do the point where I'll end up making a stand. to all those going through the places where you can't see ahead, Godspeed. Shit if I can do it...especially how I used to be, I have faith you can too. But beware, just because you make a goal doesn't mean it's righteous, or even right...In those instances the storm will likely be the most destructive.
Question is, do you have your goals?? Even more can you formulate yours once the storm clouds start to gather?
And remember, one has to know where they are standing in order to make a stand through it all.
Quote of the day:
Success is a measurable realization of a predetermined worthwhile goal or objective. Goals we set are goals we get.
Song of the day: Cake: The Distance (For the Lyrics at least)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__PU5CVSegg
Advice for the day: Try finding a book to read that you normally wouldn't.
Until we meet again,
Godspeed.
Signed,
~The Trickster, Maui
Why endure two-a-day football practices when one feels their body is broken, tired, and the easiest thing to do is to quit? To play under the lights, to hone your skills and utilize them at a level where your opponent is quite as good and quite as dedicated and driven. Maybe it's not for the lights, maybe its for the glory, that game-saving tackle, that clutch conversion, that one moment. Unconsciously it could be to prove something to yourself, to see what you're really made of.
College, you go through all the works, effort, success and failure for a piece of paper, some sort of inner pride, something to prove people wrong about you etc. At work, we go through the bs for the money, the promotions, the bonds with good co-workers, we do it for the ability to enjoy ourselves later, we do it to be productive.
But, What about in overall life...what makes us tick? Still I believe it's goals.Lord knows I've put people through some hellish times, and I've dealt with theirs also. Some may see this example as being a "they just try to deal with it and let it blow over" but I see it as a "I'm proving to you/ it's my goal to show you that you're not alone in this" again, this can e a conscious or unconscious stand.
Personally, I feel that when someone makes a stand they fully expose themselves to the impending storm of opinion, emotion, and other applicable conditions. Sometimes our stands will be difficult, sometimes they are as inconsequential as a choice of when to get off the couch, some could seem life changing but end up nothing, others can seem like nothing and change your life forever. In most situations we may not be able to see which is which, but it's a reality we have to live with. But if you have a goal, if you have a point to prove, stay strong through the hurricane gusts, the hail, the rain and the cold. Keep your footing and sight of the goal and have faith that you will not falter and you put yourself in the best position to not fail, however remember you are looking at it all from your perspective, your reality, which may be skewed. Just because you have a goal, doesn't mean you can reach them...it's a tad unfortunate. Especially when taking a stand costs you a friendship, when the stand seemingly starts to poke and prod in your personal life outside of the situation, when it's dark outside and it's hard to see the goal. faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see, this is what the ancients were commended for. Hebrews 11:1-2
Goals in my eyes are the reason, drive and source of ability to weather storms that are thrown at you, or that you create for yourself.
I have my goals laid out in front of me...I have storms to weather, bridges to attempt to repair...goals will keep me focused. As for my past, I know Ive traveled through mist, fog, smoke and flames unable to sometimes see what's in front of me, but recently, the smoke has started to clear, the flames receded, the mist burnt off...and everyday the picture of who I should be, who I want to be becomes more clear, and so too do the point where I'll end up making a stand. to all those going through the places where you can't see ahead, Godspeed. Shit if I can do it...especially how I used to be, I have faith you can too. But beware, just because you make a goal doesn't mean it's righteous, or even right...In those instances the storm will likely be the most destructive.
Question is, do you have your goals?? Even more can you formulate yours once the storm clouds start to gather?
And remember, one has to know where they are standing in order to make a stand through it all.
Quote of the day:
Success is a measurable realization of a predetermined worthwhile goal or objective. Goals we set are goals we get.
Song of the day: Cake: The Distance (For the Lyrics at least)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__PU5CVSegg
Advice for the day: Try finding a book to read that you normally wouldn't.
Until we meet again,
Godspeed.
Signed,
~The Trickster, Maui
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Spring Break Part 2
Boom, the festivities are over, the drive has been made, and it's back to the grind.
Good to be back in Lubbock actually, though I'm not terribly excited for Muay Thai in the morning but that's besides the point. i figured I'd give y'all something to read to pass the time.
I hope everyone had a good break...will have a good break...or is currently enjoying a break...which will end up good. El Paso was a good time on the back end, however angsty my previous post was, doesn't reflect the rest of our mini vacation to the sun city. Hanging with some good friends at the house, grilling and additionally hazing the culinary world of the neighborhood. What college cookout druing break would be complete without some good ole BP, tournament of champions, actives versus pledges, bigs and littles as teams, and random match ups. Needless to say, things got pretty fratty: frat shades, polo shorts, sperrys, flip flops, croakies...we were frat to the nines.
Then the game started.... I evidently was doing something, "evidently" because I'm not sure if I was doing anything but whatever. So theoretically let's say I was doing something, and in the context of the situation, let's assume this is good. However, one of my prized possessions has mysteriously gone missing...the mission is to find it, and If I do, I get to know what I was doing. Still with me? Goof. We'll come back to this later, but at this point it's time to party with my brother.
Boom, after a short walk we enter a nice get together at my bro's house and proceed to continue to party as several more friends show up. As the night progresses, as many other nights, we just can't have a perfect night. go figure...at this point I'm very positive that I'm doing very well and the night is going perfect.
It's at this point I have to get my friend to come back, not let the bs get to them and to keep having a good time. Evidently some ppl just like starting stuff so of course I'm gonna defend my friend in my brother's house while this is going down. To anyone that reads this... DON'T BE GHETTO IT JUST MAKES YOU LOOK TRASHY UNEDUCATED AND OVERALL PLACES YOU IN DUMB-B STATUS. seriously....
You know it's going downhill when a chick is yelling at your friend saying "I'm from east L.A. b*@&$!...wtf does the fact you're from there give you a free pass to be ghetto without getting shit for it? HELL I'M FROM SOUTH L.A. ...doesn't mean I'm ghetto. Slow your roll.
Other than that, pretty good tail-end of the break, some more fratting at the Fratcastle with my people. Unfortunately I ran out of time to find my object, but I'm pleading to get the info anyway. Wish me luck ya? :)
Happy Monday morning everyone I hope you have a good one.
Quote of the break:
"What you know about dying?! "
News for the day: Adriana is back with me....with new subs ;-) be jealous.
Video of the post:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mZebmAdVXw
Until we meet again, Godspeed.
Signed,
~The Trickster, Maui
Good to be back in Lubbock actually, though I'm not terribly excited for Muay Thai in the morning but that's besides the point. i figured I'd give y'all something to read to pass the time.
I hope everyone had a good break...will have a good break...or is currently enjoying a break...which will end up good. El Paso was a good time on the back end, however angsty my previous post was, doesn't reflect the rest of our mini vacation to the sun city. Hanging with some good friends at the house, grilling and additionally hazing the culinary world of the neighborhood. What college cookout druing break would be complete without some good ole BP, tournament of champions, actives versus pledges, bigs and littles as teams, and random match ups. Needless to say, things got pretty fratty: frat shades, polo shorts, sperrys, flip flops, croakies...we were frat to the nines.
Then the game started.... I evidently was doing something, "evidently" because I'm not sure if I was doing anything but whatever. So theoretically let's say I was doing something, and in the context of the situation, let's assume this is good. However, one of my prized possessions has mysteriously gone missing...the mission is to find it, and If I do, I get to know what I was doing. Still with me? Goof. We'll come back to this later, but at this point it's time to party with my brother.
Boom, after a short walk we enter a nice get together at my bro's house and proceed to continue to party as several more friends show up. As the night progresses, as many other nights, we just can't have a perfect night. go figure...at this point I'm very positive that I'm doing very well and the night is going perfect.
It's at this point I have to get my friend to come back, not let the bs get to them and to keep having a good time. Evidently some ppl just like starting stuff so of course I'm gonna defend my friend in my brother's house while this is going down. To anyone that reads this... DON'T BE GHETTO IT JUST MAKES YOU LOOK TRASHY UNEDUCATED AND OVERALL PLACES YOU IN DUMB-B STATUS. seriously....
You know it's going downhill when a chick is yelling at your friend saying "I'm from east L.A. b*@&$!...wtf does the fact you're from there give you a free pass to be ghetto without getting shit for it? HELL I'M FROM SOUTH L.A. ...doesn't mean I'm ghetto. Slow your roll.
Other than that, pretty good tail-end of the break, some more fratting at the Fratcastle with my people. Unfortunately I ran out of time to find my object, but I'm pleading to get the info anyway. Wish me luck ya? :)
Happy Monday morning everyone I hope you have a good one.
Quote of the break:
"What you know about dying?! "
News for the day: Adriana is back with me....with new subs ;-) be jealous.
Video of the post:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mZebmAdVXw
Until we meet again, Godspeed.
Signed,
~The Trickster, Maui
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
The "Joys" of being home.
I hope so far everyone has had/ will be having a good spring break. Roughly halfway through the spring semester...thrilling isn't it?
With the supreme beats of Sir David Guetta, Skrillex and various artist filling my cranium I bring you the Mid-Spring break edition of the Journal of the Torch Carrier.
With the last three months and my experience with my mothers car, dropping $600+ into it, and finally just fixing it on my own...I have been reunited with the love of my life, Adriana. However, still there is work to be done, granted I thought it would be upgrade work, but the repairs weren't completed correctly so she has to get reevaluated a few times. So, still waiting on the final word and what not so I can order my strut tower braces, new lights, possibly headers and a cat-back exhaust. new shoes are still in the running also, esp since they come with race tires ;-)
Hm, Deadmau5 just came on.
As for the joys of being home, they are boundless. Rolling into El Paso Friday night, walking in the house and as soon as I get to say hi, it starts downhill. You're looking a little chubby son, sit down you're making us nervous, are you going to grad school after all? Have you filled your prescriptions yet? We need to go to the bank, did you cash out your old stocks? what kind of investments do you want now?....fuck me running sideways it's good to see you too mom and dad....
my answers? I'd be working out a lot more if my knee was good to go, i don't like sitting down cuz I don't plan on staying dad, I don't know yet you know I hate school esp right now I don't wanna think about it mom, No I didn't I'm not going to take those fucking pills I'm fine, Yes I know, yes i did the check is right here, I dunno...I'm going out bye.
...First 20 mins home.
As many of you who actually know me, I'm a creature of the night, so first night in town is most definitely going to be epic. Rumple? Check... Whiskey? Check...BOOSH
Pulling up to the homestead of my dear Mr Mayor I calmly step out of my lovely Adriana once parking her near her cousin. Heading up the stairs greeted by to lovely ladies who sense it's going to be a good night once they see the bottles. Walk in, Game over. round after round after round of the Rumpliest Rumple I've had in a while, then to the modded whiskey drinks...strong drinks mind you. and the KATTING began. For those not familiar with KAT, You need to "like" Total Kat Move on F-book and get down with the hardest partying frat you'll ever know. Of course things got wayyyy out of hand, Minibear/Bones was KO'd by my mixing, Mr Sexy kept it classy somehow and the Mayor and our friend almost went after everyone with the blades for dropping the Slam piece tag hahaha. The future of KAT was also discussed, we have big plans ;-)
And it's not by Greek Letters, Its just said KAT like cat...fyi.
Stumbling in at 5 A.M. is always fun, especially when mom knows you're stumbling in because of the freshly made rum and pepsi in one hand, which she can smell from down the hall, and a box from taco cabana in the other. As usual, she just looks at me and goes back to her room. 9 A.M sharp, dad hovering over me...time to go. I've learned to accept that when I come in at all hours of the night I pretty much provide an open ticket to my pops to work my ass off the next day. which is what happened. Bank, back home, post office, back home, driving them to the west side to pick up a paper...yeah and all the time holding conversation with me, effectively magnifying the cranial chaos that the sun and dehydration have brought. Finally when I"m released I get some sleep, too sick to eat but knowing I need to re-swagger for the evening with promise of a great meal when the rents get back. MY PARENTS DITCHED ME FOR DINNER WTF hahaha. So I did what any good college student would do, broke out the pots and a pan and Hazed the freezer for all it's yummy goodness, the result? Bomb ass shrimp n steak dinner for one. Gotta get my protein it's Beer Pong Saturday after all ;-) BP goes down smooth and fun as hell, so around 3am I'm driving home when I get a phone call, long story short: two black eyes, bruised eyebrow, and a swollen nose, painful to the touch. God I love my boys haha but don't practice mma full speed whilst not completely sober, or else...you have been warned.
Sunday, got conned into hanging out with my Bio-mom, then went to Sincinasty...aka the depot of El Paso with my boys, made a new friend and accepted a challenge. Monday, Car goes back to the shop, I get my teeth cleaned pretty mellow day night is completely opposite but we won't get into that.
Which brings us to today, which seems like I've been having a rip-roaring time right?
But It's all coming from the fact that I can't stand being in my house. As much as I love the rents they are just wayyy too damn good at pushing my buttons and what-not so yeah, it's a lot of stress in the Wallace house so I tend to try to stay moving.
The dreams are more vivid than ever, It's becoming harder and harder to tell the difference between them and reality. The hours now spent trying to dodge the dreams are now spent figuring out why I'm in college, why I''ma business student, why do I care what happens in certain sectors of this crazy life I seem to create around myself. And it's been quite nice to prod my own mind, thus I'll start writing again, maybe not everything will make it here but there will be a book out there, full of these inner thoughts and dialogue.
By now you clearly know the music has changed, that was the serious part of the post.
But, Lets talk about pet peeves, I'm just gonna list situations and list the things that get me going (from eh doesn't REALLY bother me, to I'll snap) haha some could end up funny I Guess.
in the house: My rents, the lack of wireless cable, tv's constantly on with no one watching or three tv's on the same channel and two are being used in separate rooms, mom turning on the tv while i'm napping then leaving the room, mom trying to talk to me while I clearly have my headphones on watching a movie, Trying to start a convo with me while I'm trying to sleep, Telling me things I clearly already am aware of or rectified, and telling me things that have no importance to me at all then getting upset that I don't know what you are talking about.
In the Car: Crappy music, Ipod Being dead, Pandora not working on the phone, shitty drivers, Lubbock Streets, assholes, ppl who drive like assholes, that smug look an asshole gives you while you look at their car, touching the radio, Lubbock drivers, touching the radio, Juarez drivers, ppl going wayyy too slow.
At the party: not knowing people, ppl getting annoyed that you know EVERYONE...literally, long beer pong waits, the guy that talks shit about his flip cup skills that gets all pissed when his team looses, that one team that runs the beer pong table all night, drinks most of the beer, then leaves, the girls who come into your party/the party you are bar tending and acting like they own the place, guys doing the same thing, asking for whack ass drinks, not finishing drinks, one of your ex's other ex/new person giving you a dirty look, multiple ppl giving you dirty looks for talking to an ex, the new person in their life continuing to give you dirty looks, said person eventually attacking you for no real reason besides they are drunk or jealous, puking inside the house/party yard, PI's, no liquor.
At the Bar: see above. Add lame bartenders, worthless waitresses, the hicks that play the shitty jukebox music, the drunk guys that start fights because you passed within 15 ft of a girl they are trying to hookup with, horrible service, having to cover someone's tab, getting towed.
In life in general: being tired, being bored, not having anyone to chill with, being so bored I actually do homework, having to fix stuff that shouldn't be your problem, my room being messy haha, stingy ppl, rude ppl, friends vanishing right when you need em, nagging, speed traps, credit card limits and bar tabs, TABC, people who are ur friends when they need something, people who don't walk with purpose, People telling you what you need to do in life, people telling you who you should be with, constantly being told you should be single or in a relationship with this or that person, lack of working car, people who are not genuine and you can clearly see it. and finally, for how much I give them hell, If anyone talks bad about one of my family members, even Portia, or any of my close friends...we have a problem
Wow, that was longer than expected but that's it for the mid-spring break update
Song of the day: Lmfao-party rock anthem ft l bennet and goonrock.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQ6zr6kCPj8
Quote of the day: Don't sweat the small stuff...and It's ALL small stuff. ~Richard Carlson
Idea of the day: Surprise yourself, be spontaneous.
Until next time, keep the sun out ya eyes ya?
Godspeed
Signed,
~The Trickster, Maui
With the supreme beats of Sir David Guetta, Skrillex and various artist filling my cranium I bring you the Mid-Spring break edition of the Journal of the Torch Carrier.
With the last three months and my experience with my mothers car, dropping $600+ into it, and finally just fixing it on my own...I have been reunited with the love of my life, Adriana. However, still there is work to be done, granted I thought it would be upgrade work, but the repairs weren't completed correctly so she has to get reevaluated a few times. So, still waiting on the final word and what not so I can order my strut tower braces, new lights, possibly headers and a cat-back exhaust. new shoes are still in the running also, esp since they come with race tires ;-)
Hm, Deadmau5 just came on.
As for the joys of being home, they are boundless. Rolling into El Paso Friday night, walking in the house and as soon as I get to say hi, it starts downhill. You're looking a little chubby son, sit down you're making us nervous, are you going to grad school after all? Have you filled your prescriptions yet? We need to go to the bank, did you cash out your old stocks? what kind of investments do you want now?....fuck me running sideways it's good to see you too mom and dad....
my answers? I'd be working out a lot more if my knee was good to go, i don't like sitting down cuz I don't plan on staying dad, I don't know yet you know I hate school esp right now I don't wanna think about it mom, No I didn't I'm not going to take those fucking pills I'm fine, Yes I know, yes i did the check is right here, I dunno...I'm going out bye.
...First 20 mins home.
As many of you who actually know me, I'm a creature of the night, so first night in town is most definitely going to be epic. Rumple? Check... Whiskey? Check...BOOSH
Pulling up to the homestead of my dear Mr Mayor I calmly step out of my lovely Adriana once parking her near her cousin. Heading up the stairs greeted by to lovely ladies who sense it's going to be a good night once they see the bottles. Walk in, Game over. round after round after round of the Rumpliest Rumple I've had in a while, then to the modded whiskey drinks...strong drinks mind you. and the KATTING began. For those not familiar with KAT, You need to "like" Total Kat Move on F-book and get down with the hardest partying frat you'll ever know. Of course things got wayyyy out of hand, Minibear/Bones was KO'd by my mixing, Mr Sexy kept it classy somehow and the Mayor and our friend almost went after everyone with the blades for dropping the Slam piece tag hahaha. The future of KAT was also discussed, we have big plans ;-)
And it's not by Greek Letters, Its just said KAT like cat...fyi.
Stumbling in at 5 A.M. is always fun, especially when mom knows you're stumbling in because of the freshly made rum and pepsi in one hand, which she can smell from down the hall, and a box from taco cabana in the other. As usual, she just looks at me and goes back to her room. 9 A.M sharp, dad hovering over me...time to go. I've learned to accept that when I come in at all hours of the night I pretty much provide an open ticket to my pops to work my ass off the next day. which is what happened. Bank, back home, post office, back home, driving them to the west side to pick up a paper...yeah and all the time holding conversation with me, effectively magnifying the cranial chaos that the sun and dehydration have brought. Finally when I"m released I get some sleep, too sick to eat but knowing I need to re-swagger for the evening with promise of a great meal when the rents get back. MY PARENTS DITCHED ME FOR DINNER WTF hahaha. So I did what any good college student would do, broke out the pots and a pan and Hazed the freezer for all it's yummy goodness, the result? Bomb ass shrimp n steak dinner for one. Gotta get my protein it's Beer Pong Saturday after all ;-) BP goes down smooth and fun as hell, so around 3am I'm driving home when I get a phone call, long story short: two black eyes, bruised eyebrow, and a swollen nose, painful to the touch. God I love my boys haha but don't practice mma full speed whilst not completely sober, or else...you have been warned.
Sunday, got conned into hanging out with my Bio-mom, then went to Sincinasty...aka the depot of El Paso with my boys, made a new friend and accepted a challenge. Monday, Car goes back to the shop, I get my teeth cleaned pretty mellow day night is completely opposite but we won't get into that.
Which brings us to today, which seems like I've been having a rip-roaring time right?
But It's all coming from the fact that I can't stand being in my house. As much as I love the rents they are just wayyy too damn good at pushing my buttons and what-not so yeah, it's a lot of stress in the Wallace house so I tend to try to stay moving.
The dreams are more vivid than ever, It's becoming harder and harder to tell the difference between them and reality. The hours now spent trying to dodge the dreams are now spent figuring out why I'm in college, why I''ma business student, why do I care what happens in certain sectors of this crazy life I seem to create around myself. And it's been quite nice to prod my own mind, thus I'll start writing again, maybe not everything will make it here but there will be a book out there, full of these inner thoughts and dialogue.
By now you clearly know the music has changed, that was the serious part of the post.
But, Lets talk about pet peeves, I'm just gonna list situations and list the things that get me going (from eh doesn't REALLY bother me, to I'll snap) haha some could end up funny I Guess.
in the house: My rents, the lack of wireless cable, tv's constantly on with no one watching or three tv's on the same channel and two are being used in separate rooms, mom turning on the tv while i'm napping then leaving the room, mom trying to talk to me while I clearly have my headphones on watching a movie, Trying to start a convo with me while I'm trying to sleep, Telling me things I clearly already am aware of or rectified, and telling me things that have no importance to me at all then getting upset that I don't know what you are talking about.
In the Car: Crappy music, Ipod Being dead, Pandora not working on the phone, shitty drivers, Lubbock Streets, assholes, ppl who drive like assholes, that smug look an asshole gives you while you look at their car, touching the radio, Lubbock drivers, touching the radio, Juarez drivers, ppl going wayyy too slow.
At the party: not knowing people, ppl getting annoyed that you know EVERYONE...literally, long beer pong waits, the guy that talks shit about his flip cup skills that gets all pissed when his team looses, that one team that runs the beer pong table all night, drinks most of the beer, then leaves, the girls who come into your party/the party you are bar tending and acting like they own the place, guys doing the same thing, asking for whack ass drinks, not finishing drinks, one of your ex's other ex/new person giving you a dirty look, multiple ppl giving you dirty looks for talking to an ex, the new person in their life continuing to give you dirty looks, said person eventually attacking you for no real reason besides they are drunk or jealous, puking inside the house/party yard, PI's, no liquor.
At the Bar: see above. Add lame bartenders, worthless waitresses, the hicks that play the shitty jukebox music, the drunk guys that start fights because you passed within 15 ft of a girl they are trying to hookup with, horrible service, having to cover someone's tab, getting towed.
In life in general: being tired, being bored, not having anyone to chill with, being so bored I actually do homework, having to fix stuff that shouldn't be your problem, my room being messy haha, stingy ppl, rude ppl, friends vanishing right when you need em, nagging, speed traps, credit card limits and bar tabs, TABC, people who are ur friends when they need something, people who don't walk with purpose, People telling you what you need to do in life, people telling you who you should be with, constantly being told you should be single or in a relationship with this or that person, lack of working car, people who are not genuine and you can clearly see it. and finally, for how much I give them hell, If anyone talks bad about one of my family members, even Portia, or any of my close friends...we have a problem
Wow, that was longer than expected but that's it for the mid-spring break update
Song of the day: Lmfao-party rock anthem ft l bennet and goonrock.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQ6zr6kCPj8
Quote of the day: Don't sweat the small stuff...and It's ALL small stuff. ~Richard Carlson
Idea of the day: Surprise yourself, be spontaneous.
Until next time, keep the sun out ya eyes ya?
Godspeed
Signed,
~The Trickster, Maui
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Revelations, Resolutions, Revolutions
Good day, time has passed since October since I've written anything, so I present my return.
Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's day have all come and gone; joyous occasions with friends and family have been had, and we are almost two months back into the school grind.
Along with fun and games, trials and tribulations can also occur, disheartening and challenging instances which can develop us further or bring us down depending on our reactions.
Under-reaction and over-reaction, two deadly entities which can rear their ugly heads during this time which can ultimately determine the path one is trying to take while facing these trials. Both dangerous in their own rights, both able to destroy progress in endeavors. Be careful, tread truly, and keep the sun out of your eyes...Now here we go
I hope everyone had a good winter break, or general holiday time. It was personally great seeing friends, making new ones, and generally throwing worries to the wayside for a while. Granted the amount of cooking I was put in charge of was quite a task, it was an adventure. I used to always say I hated El Paso, and wouldn't go back for much anything besides my parents, there was a time where one person could change that, and now looking back I was a naive angsty teen wanting change desperately. And it was over break, sitting at my spot with a close friend, looking over the city, where I realized El Paso is a part of me, I may not be the biggest fan of the city, but in that moment it felt like home, the friends I've made there will always be some of the best.
Being with family, eating and drinking over a great meal, spending time with friends I rarely get to see, and keeping tradition alive with others. New Years was pretty grand, may not have been the rager we experienced the first time around, but good people made it great. My love...well maybe not love... but my enjoyment of bowling has been rekindled thanks to my brother and Tecate Tuesdays haha. However, my favorite moments involved a cup of coffee on Lee Trevino.
Along with the fun times, seeing old friends etc, eye opening experiences came to play. One being the previously mentioned conversation at my thinking spot. Others included walking into a party, dancing in a basement, getting a phone call, and losing Adriana for a while after an emotional night and a too-fast-taken corner. I walked a bridge, was a mobile bartender, a stationary bartender, an IT specialist, a prince and a douchebag...became Alpha-like, and fell into my emotions. Learned about my father, and got closer to my mother... It was quite a roller coaster to say the least but somehow I survived, and write to you today haha hopefully no one had so much up and down action, hopefully it was pretty high riding.
Now, new years what-nots, we tend to see a flurry of resolutions to get in shape, do this, make that happen. It wasn't until later, once I was back in Lbk that I got sucker punched in the face for a resolution...Total self improvement.. I have a goal to attain, however I must take it step by step, day by day. You should try it, figure out where you are lacking in life, yourself, your identity, relationships, attitude or habits. Write them down or memorize them, and everyday wake up, and go over them...it will take a lot of self-monitoring, but you'll notice changes slowly but surely. Personally mine follows my name, makes it easier. But what I have to lose without this journey is far too precious not to follow this path. Constant self improvement is very satisfying, even if the reasons for your change don't come together...you will be a better person through the journey you take. Godspeed :)
Somehow, I survived my twenty first year of life and lost people some money on their bets...haha sorry fellas, I'm hard to kill off. Additionally, seeing as it's post-valentines day I wanted to address this... I know v-day is supposed to be/ seen as, a couples thing. Romance in the air, lots of affectionate little things going on. Granted I had planned to attend an Anti-Vday party but that is actually a light-hearted and fun affair. I know people who may be single, or having a rough day, and lash out at Hallmark's brainchild. V-day shouldn't be so focused on that aspect, but rather look back and think of what you did, if you went out single or coupled up think about how everything went. Think about your family, friends, immerse yourself in thoughts of good, happy times. Maybe you didn't have a stereotypical V-day, but that's okay...hell I spent mine at a bar, but it was a good chill time. Bottom line, don't stress too much over V-day. Do something sweet for a special someone sure but hey don't go overboard, unless your married hahaha. Remember that for next year.
Ah it has been a while since I wrote here... I'll try to keep it up more consistently.
Quote of the day:
A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at"- Bruce Lee
Thought of the day: Slow and steady, Easy does it
Song of the day: Monster -Michael Jackson Featuring 50 Cent (no bullshit)
I Promise I will get to the story of The Lightning Count and the Hurricane I swear.
Godspeed in all endeavors.
Signed,
~The Trickster, Maui
Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's day have all come and gone; joyous occasions with friends and family have been had, and we are almost two months back into the school grind.
Along with fun and games, trials and tribulations can also occur, disheartening and challenging instances which can develop us further or bring us down depending on our reactions.
Under-reaction and over-reaction, two deadly entities which can rear their ugly heads during this time which can ultimately determine the path one is trying to take while facing these trials. Both dangerous in their own rights, both able to destroy progress in endeavors. Be careful, tread truly, and keep the sun out of your eyes...Now here we go
I hope everyone had a good winter break, or general holiday time. It was personally great seeing friends, making new ones, and generally throwing worries to the wayside for a while. Granted the amount of cooking I was put in charge of was quite a task, it was an adventure. I used to always say I hated El Paso, and wouldn't go back for much anything besides my parents, there was a time where one person could change that, and now looking back I was a naive angsty teen wanting change desperately. And it was over break, sitting at my spot with a close friend, looking over the city, where I realized El Paso is a part of me, I may not be the biggest fan of the city, but in that moment it felt like home, the friends I've made there will always be some of the best.
Being with family, eating and drinking over a great meal, spending time with friends I rarely get to see, and keeping tradition alive with others. New Years was pretty grand, may not have been the rager we experienced the first time around, but good people made it great. My love...well maybe not love... but my enjoyment of bowling has been rekindled thanks to my brother and Tecate Tuesdays haha. However, my favorite moments involved a cup of coffee on Lee Trevino.
Along with the fun times, seeing old friends etc, eye opening experiences came to play. One being the previously mentioned conversation at my thinking spot. Others included walking into a party, dancing in a basement, getting a phone call, and losing Adriana for a while after an emotional night and a too-fast-taken corner. I walked a bridge, was a mobile bartender, a stationary bartender, an IT specialist, a prince and a douchebag...became Alpha-like, and fell into my emotions. Learned about my father, and got closer to my mother... It was quite a roller coaster to say the least but somehow I survived, and write to you today haha hopefully no one had so much up and down action, hopefully it was pretty high riding.
Now, new years what-nots, we tend to see a flurry of resolutions to get in shape, do this, make that happen. It wasn't until later, once I was back in Lbk that I got sucker punched in the face for a resolution...Total self improvement.. I have a goal to attain, however I must take it step by step, day by day. You should try it, figure out where you are lacking in life, yourself, your identity, relationships, attitude or habits. Write them down or memorize them, and everyday wake up, and go over them...it will take a lot of self-monitoring, but you'll notice changes slowly but surely. Personally mine follows my name, makes it easier. But what I have to lose without this journey is far too precious not to follow this path. Constant self improvement is very satisfying, even if the reasons for your change don't come together...you will be a better person through the journey you take. Godspeed :)
Somehow, I survived my twenty first year of life and lost people some money on their bets...haha sorry fellas, I'm hard to kill off. Additionally, seeing as it's post-valentines day I wanted to address this... I know v-day is supposed to be/ seen as, a couples thing. Romance in the air, lots of affectionate little things going on. Granted I had planned to attend an Anti-Vday party but that is actually a light-hearted and fun affair. I know people who may be single, or having a rough day, and lash out at Hallmark's brainchild. V-day shouldn't be so focused on that aspect, but rather look back and think of what you did, if you went out single or coupled up think about how everything went. Think about your family, friends, immerse yourself in thoughts of good, happy times. Maybe you didn't have a stereotypical V-day, but that's okay...hell I spent mine at a bar, but it was a good chill time. Bottom line, don't stress too much over V-day. Do something sweet for a special someone sure but hey don't go overboard, unless your married hahaha. Remember that for next year.
Ah it has been a while since I wrote here... I'll try to keep it up more consistently.
Quote of the day:
A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at"- Bruce Lee
Thought of the day: Slow and steady, Easy does it
Song of the day: Monster -Michael Jackson Featuring 50 Cent (no bullshit)
I Promise I will get to the story of The Lightning Count and the Hurricane I swear.
Godspeed in all endeavors.
Signed,
~The Trickster, Maui
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
A Little R&R with The Trickster, Maui
It has come to my attention that I have yet to post a Rant or a Rave on this fine Journal, so, for you're reading pleasure here we go.
Questions that keep me up at night:
Seriously, how much could a woodchuck chuck?
Why is Iceland so green?
Why is it that when I started this, I suddenly forgot all the great things I wanted to say?
Why is it that when I finally start working out again I get injured...like every time?
This one's serious... If you wake up in a different place, in a different time...could you wake up as a different person?
Seriously, frat daddies....whats with the boat shoes?...and the hats...and the glasses...and the shorts?
What if I had said something?
What if I could have kept my damn mouth shut?
WHAT THE HELL IS THE TERMINAL AIRSPEED VELOCITY OF AN UN-LADEN SWALLOW!?
(African and European)
How many drinks does it take to put a torch out?
How many drinks does it take to realize that the torch is still on fire?
Who came up with the phrase "carry the torch"?
Who was the first to tie torch carrying to relationships?
What would happen, if lets say, a huge system of Lightning ran into a Hurricane...say...in Miami?
RANTS:
Yes, fratties you're the coolest ppl ever because you think you are....but you're not
Sorority girls...c'mon no reason to be so rude, esp when the term slampiece is directly tied to you.
I know I'm an asshole, you don't have to like me, take it or leave it. Just remember, some friction in life is good.
Everyone kept bitching at me to get skype...so i do...and no one uses it anymore haha fml...
Finally: Can somebody tell some ppl to fucking grow up, yes parts of me could be included in this group, but high school was over a long time ago.
If someone isn't happy/doesn't want to be in a relationship, you'll either know it or not as the partner...which sucks when something is broken and you don't know it.
YOU WON'T DO IT!!!
I NEED A JOB! haha
So yeah... R&R does mean rants and raves for the most part, even though technically I failed to include raves, but hey...at least its not some drawn out metaphorical story this time.
Keep it real
Next time is either: "Chapter 5: When Storms Collide, The Lightning Count meets The Hurricane." or "The Thousand Faces of You and I."
Random Song of the night: Chicks Dig it by Chris Cagle
Until then,
Godspeed,
~The Trickster, Maui
Questions that keep me up at night:
Seriously, how much could a woodchuck chuck?
Why is Iceland so green?
Why is it that when I started this, I suddenly forgot all the great things I wanted to say?
Why is it that when I finally start working out again I get injured...like every time?
This one's serious... If you wake up in a different place, in a different time...could you wake up as a different person?
Seriously, frat daddies....whats with the boat shoes?...and the hats...and the glasses...and the shorts?
What if I had said something?
What if I could have kept my damn mouth shut?
WHAT THE HELL IS THE TERMINAL AIRSPEED VELOCITY OF AN UN-LADEN SWALLOW!?
(African and European)
How many drinks does it take to put a torch out?
How many drinks does it take to realize that the torch is still on fire?
Who came up with the phrase "carry the torch"?
Who was the first to tie torch carrying to relationships?
What would happen, if lets say, a huge system of Lightning ran into a Hurricane...say...in Miami?
RANTS:
Yes, fratties you're the coolest ppl ever because you think you are....but you're not
Sorority girls...c'mon no reason to be so rude, esp when the term slampiece is directly tied to you.
I know I'm an asshole, you don't have to like me, take it or leave it. Just remember, some friction in life is good.
Everyone kept bitching at me to get skype...so i do...and no one uses it anymore haha fml...
Finally: Can somebody tell some ppl to fucking grow up, yes parts of me could be included in this group, but high school was over a long time ago.
If someone isn't happy/doesn't want to be in a relationship, you'll either know it or not as the partner...which sucks when something is broken and you don't know it.
YOU WON'T DO IT!!!
I NEED A JOB! haha
So yeah... R&R does mean rants and raves for the most part, even though technically I failed to include raves, but hey...at least its not some drawn out metaphorical story this time.
Keep it real
Next time is either: "Chapter 5: When Storms Collide, The Lightning Count meets The Hurricane." or "The Thousand Faces of You and I."
Random Song of the night: Chicks Dig it by Chris Cagle
Until then,
Godspeed,
~The Trickster, Maui
Monday, October 4, 2010
Chapter Four: Havok And The Hammer Of Dawn
There was a time where Havok, was on top of the world. Nowadays this statement is nowhere near true, even if he could create a fantasy world of being back on top of the mountain, any mountain. Havok, like many, felt as if his position could get no better, family, friends and love encompassed his life and he felt invincible. Then, one day a doubt, maybe one micro gram, somehow made it's way into his mind, and his downward spiral began, losing friends, his love, and himself in the process. Like many, he tried to push the weight of his decisions off as if he were Atlas, holding the world on his shoulders. And those few still around him watched his spiral in horror as he refused help from anyone and continued pushing people away looking for himself at the bottom of bottles and working himself into the ground, many sleepless nights, and night terrors the few times his body shut him down.
Then, he put on his mask, cleverly designed as a glowing smile and an energy for life only seen in the past. It worked wonders on most, Havok was back, and he had been missed. But every night, when he would take his new magical disguise off, his bloodshot eyes shone as rubies, the weakness in his body apparent as he would tremble trying to look at himself in a reflecting pool, and he never found peace in sleep, which still eluded him. Until finally, he gave up, he needed to rebuild, the mask came off his face as tears as she held his hand telling him she knew how to look into his soul. She could not be deceived. It was the first night he slept in some time, woke up with eyes not so ruby bloodshot, a little more color in his veins.
Today, Havok still looks to rebuild himself, understanding his road may be long but his friends and family are right there pulling for him as he wields a much more practical tool: The Hammer Of Dawn. Stroke by stroke, destroying the boulder over him as he changes and finds the fire he had once before, Stroke by stroke tearing up broken foundations to pour the cement for new beginnings with those caught in the crossfire. Stroke by stroke, improving himself, his life, and hopefully becoming a good person once again...stroke by stroke...
We must sometimes rebuild ourselves as Havok is doing, maybe it's a small change in life which makes us reevaluate who we are and who we want to be. Sometimes it's a change which throws us seemingly off a spire leaving us desperately clawing at the air in a vain effort to save ourselves. Maybe it's just time for a lifestyle change. In this moment, be wary of the masks, they have a corrupting and dark ability to destroy us as we try to fake our ways to happiness. Instead, find your hammer, and work diligently, but not hurriedly.This hammer is both a metaphor and truth in Havok's life as he slowly, stroke by stroke, searches for himself and a reunion with those he loves.
I know this...because Havok knows this: Don't let the masked version of you convince you that the hammer is in it's hand, because it's actually in yours.
Next time: Who knows
Song of the Night: I am trying very hard to be here by AFI
Until then,
Godspeed,
~The Trickster, Maui
Then, he put on his mask, cleverly designed as a glowing smile and an energy for life only seen in the past. It worked wonders on most, Havok was back, and he had been missed. But every night, when he would take his new magical disguise off, his bloodshot eyes shone as rubies, the weakness in his body apparent as he would tremble trying to look at himself in a reflecting pool, and he never found peace in sleep, which still eluded him. Until finally, he gave up, he needed to rebuild, the mask came off his face as tears as she held his hand telling him she knew how to look into his soul. She could not be deceived. It was the first night he slept in some time, woke up with eyes not so ruby bloodshot, a little more color in his veins.
Today, Havok still looks to rebuild himself, understanding his road may be long but his friends and family are right there pulling for him as he wields a much more practical tool: The Hammer Of Dawn. Stroke by stroke, destroying the boulder over him as he changes and finds the fire he had once before, Stroke by stroke tearing up broken foundations to pour the cement for new beginnings with those caught in the crossfire. Stroke by stroke, improving himself, his life, and hopefully becoming a good person once again...stroke by stroke...
We must sometimes rebuild ourselves as Havok is doing, maybe it's a small change in life which makes us reevaluate who we are and who we want to be. Sometimes it's a change which throws us seemingly off a spire leaving us desperately clawing at the air in a vain effort to save ourselves. Maybe it's just time for a lifestyle change. In this moment, be wary of the masks, they have a corrupting and dark ability to destroy us as we try to fake our ways to happiness. Instead, find your hammer, and work diligently, but not hurriedly.This hammer is both a metaphor and truth in Havok's life as he slowly, stroke by stroke, searches for himself and a reunion with those he loves.
I know this...because Havok knows this: Don't let the masked version of you convince you that the hammer is in it's hand, because it's actually in yours.
Next time: Who knows
Song of the Night: I am trying very hard to be here by AFI
Until then,
Godspeed,
~The Trickster, Maui
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