Better Every Day #4:

Being Alone.

When was the last time you really felt alone? No significant other, no friends, maybe just a lack of contact with anyone around you. crushing isn't it?

That's not being alone, that's being lonely. And in my new adventure, I've decided to tackle my old perceptions of "alone" and "lonley".

Being alone is a state of situation, right now I'm alone in my room, at 3 am at the gym I'll probably be alone in whatever room I'm working out in. When I get home, again, I will be alone.
I used to LOATHE being alone because I had this misconception about the condition.

I think.

Or maybe I hated being alone because I hadn't started the war to conquer my mind, which I had allowed to become diseased with self doubt, regret, and fear. I hadn't had that spark of defiance to awaken the warrior withing myself yet. I was still weak, I was still afraid of my potential, mediocre and in the background was easy, it was comfortable.

I have come to embrace my time alone as an opportunity to ask myself questions, dive into the "why" of my former self, and to write. And get my house together...and play video games...and play with Sadie.

Don't get me wrong, however, I have some of the greatest friends and support system, and I love them dearly... I don't mean my embrace of being alone to become self-isolation.

Self-isolation, in the act of self-preservation leads, ultimately, to self destruction.

Being "lonely" is an emotional state. A feeling. One can be surrounded by others, including loved ones, and still be lonely. I find that loneliness is often tied to romantic endeavors first and foremost. Maybe a failed relationship, death of a loved one, rejection by one you want to be involved with. I believe this is where I became lonely, attaching too much importance to being constantly involved with someone.

Having moments of loneliness is part of the human condition, it's normal to experience. The toughest part of it in my mind is to understand that it will pass, if you allow it to, or work to get past it. Loneliness is an emotion, a potentially dangerous one if we cannot control our minds.

Embrace it, for it means you've cared, but understand its fleeting nature.

Embrace being alone, to have time to one's self, but don't allow yourself to disappear

Become Better Every Day

H.E. Wallace