There was a time where Havok, was on top of the world. Nowadays this statement is nowhere near true, even if he could create a fantasy world of being back on top of the mountain, any mountain. Havok, like many, felt as if his position could get no better, family, friends and love encompassed his life and he felt invincible. Then, one day a doubt, maybe one micro gram, somehow made it's way into his mind, and his downward spiral began, losing friends, his love, and himself in the process. Like many, he tried to push the weight of his decisions off as if he were Atlas, holding the world on his shoulders. And those few still around him watched his spiral in horror as he refused help from anyone and continued pushing people away looking for himself at the bottom of bottles and working himself into the ground, many sleepless nights, and night terrors the few times his body shut him down.
Then, he put on his mask, cleverly designed as a glowing smile and an energy for life only seen in the past. It worked wonders on most, Havok was back, and he had been missed. But every night, when he would take his new magical disguise off, his bloodshot eyes shone as rubies, the weakness in his body apparent as he would tremble trying to look at himself in a reflecting pool, and he never found peace in sleep, which still eluded him. Until finally, he gave up, he needed to rebuild, the mask came off his face as tears as she held his hand telling him she knew how to look into his soul. She could not be deceived. It was the first night he slept in some time, woke up with eyes not so ruby bloodshot, a little more color in his veins.
Today, Havok still looks to rebuild himself, understanding his road may be long but his friends and family are right there pulling for him as he wields a much more practical tool: The Hammer Of Dawn. Stroke by stroke, destroying the boulder over him as he changes and finds the fire he had once before, Stroke by stroke tearing up broken foundations to pour the cement for new beginnings with those caught in the crossfire. Stroke by stroke, improving himself, his life, and hopefully becoming a good person once again...stroke by stroke...
We must sometimes rebuild ourselves as Havok is doing, maybe it's a small change in life which makes us reevaluate who we are and who we want to be. Sometimes it's a change which throws us seemingly off a spire leaving us desperately clawing at the air in a vain effort to save ourselves. Maybe it's just time for a lifestyle change. In this moment, be wary of the masks, they have a corrupting and dark ability to destroy us as we try to fake our ways to happiness. Instead, find your hammer, and work diligently, but not hurriedly.This hammer is both a metaphor and truth in Havok's life as he slowly, stroke by stroke, searches for himself and a reunion with those he loves.
I know this...because Havok knows this: Don't let the masked version of you convince you that the hammer is in it's hand, because it's actually in yours.
Next time: Who knows
Song of the Night: I am trying very hard to be here by AFI
Until then,
Godspeed,
~The Trickster, Maui
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